Paisley to remain in EU – as part of France!

Paisley is set to escape the impact of Brexit thanks to a recently discovered historical document which reveals that the town is actually part of France!

paisley-museum-cropRenovation work at Paisley Museum has unearthed a historic document which reveals that during the Scottish Wars of Independence in around 1319, a Treaty was signed between the Scottish Lords and a French noble in return for troops and assistance. This noble, the Duke of Burgundy, offered his personal protection to the people of Paisley stating that he would take the town under his protection if Scotland ever lost its independence and that the town would be part of Burgundy until Scotland regained its full independence.

france-flag-stdIt is believed the document was kept in the safe keeping of the Abbot of Paisley Abbey but seems to have been forgotten about as Scotland remained an independent country until the Act of Union with England in 1707. Legal experts are examining the document and believe that since it has never been rescinded then it remains law and Paisley is in effect a part of Burgundy, and therefore part of France.

Councillor Kenny MacLaren added:

“This news has sent a shockwave through political and diplomatic circles and, as part of France, means that we would no longer have to worry about the job losses, threats to the supply of food and medicines due to Brexit.

“Depending on the final outcome of the Brexit negotiations, the new political administration of Paisley will have to consider whether to transfer our community wardens to border patrol guards and assess whether we need to have check points to manage our borders with Glasgow, Renfrew and Johnstone.

“High level talks are taking place between Paisley and the French consulate in Edinburgh to enact the treaty between Burgundy and Paisley. This will include St Mirren applying to play in the French football league and a showcase game against reigning French champions Paris St Germain which could see stars such as Neymar and Mbappe playing at the Simple Digital Arena.

“Of course, as part of France we will have to adopt the Euro but the plus side is our new national football team is number two in the FIFA rankings and have never been beaten by Kazakhstan!”